Sibling violence

Violence between brothers and sisters

There's probably no need to worry if your children occasionally argue or fight. But if there's regular 'sibling violence' – with one brother or sister committing physical, emotional or sexual abuse on the other – it's very important you take action.
Sibling violence is actually fairly common. It can range from insults, pushing and shoving, to violent behaviour and use of weapons. In extreme cases there's sexual touching, indecent exposure and even rape.

Parents often think fighting is normal and may fail to recognise the problem – until injuries occur. Abuse can lead to poor self-image, depression, relationship difficulties, alcohol and drug addiction, eating disorders, and more.

Helpful tips

• Set boundaries for what is OK – no hitting or other violence.
• Whenever violence occurs between children, separate them before things get serious.
• Try a family meeting to work out problem-solving strategies.
• Model respectful behaviour – your children learn by watching you.
• Praise them when they work out a problem together.
• Minimise rivalry (see below).
• Don't ignore, blame, or punish the victim.
• Don't give older children too much responsibility for younger children.
• If problems continue or violence is bad, seek professional help.