Sibling rivalry

Parents often worry about their children arguing and fighting, but a certain amount of conflict is normal. Often it helps children learn to overcome disagreements and socialise well, and to respect other people's feelings and belongings. The key is to ensure conflict is under control and no one is hurt. You may need to step in.

Helpful tips

• You may want to set ground rules on banned behaviour such as no name calling or hitting.
• Unless someone is getting hurt try not to rush in to stop an argument – let them try to sort it out themselves.
• If need be, separate them until they calm down.
• Get them to apologise to each other.
• Talk with your children about what's going on – be calm, look for solutions that are fair to both and try not to take sides.
• Treat each situation as a new one.
• Help them learn to cooperate, such as playing games where each child gets a turn.
• Introduce activities for both/all children, such as going to the park or zoo.
• Give hugs, praise and affection to all your children.
• Try not to compare children.
• Regularly spend special time with each child.
• Allow each child to own some special things they don't have to share.
• You may need to make sure one child's special activities are not messed up by another.
• Make sure each child has their own special space, even just one drawer.