Positive discipline

Parenting is all about guiding behaviour in ways that suit the child's age and the situation.  It is built on a foundation of love, praise, encouragement and trust.

A recent law change means you can't use physical force to correct your child (this is illegal) but it is legal to use force to control your child (e.g. stopping them from running on to the road). This page offers tips and links to help you guide the behaviour of your children in the most appropriate ways.

Helpful tips

• Praise and reward good behaviour
• Ignore minor unwanted behaviour
• Give lots of love and affection
• Listen to your children and talk with them about what they are thinking and doing (not just what they need to do)
• Make rules and routines clear and stick to them
• Distract young children from unwanted behaviour by focusing attention on something else
• Always remember you are a role model for your children's behaviour
• Make sure they have something to do while you're working or on the phone
• Getting stressed? If at all possible, get some space to gather your thoughts
• Ask for the free booklet 'Children are Unbeatable' by emailing your name and postal address to the Families Commission at enquiries@nzfamilies.org.nz
• Ask for the free booklet 'Choose to Hug, Not to Smack Awhitia Kaua e Papakitia' by emailing your name and postal address to the Office of the Children's Commissioner at children@occ.org.nz