Children-parent-grandparent families

A lot of homes now include children, parents and grandparents – known as 'sandwich families'. Having older family/whānau as part of your household can bring positive benefits such as help to care for children, and sharing cultural, family and other knowledge.

However, things may not all be rosy. It can be tough juggling care of both the elderly and children. The different generations may not get along all living together. Your children may feel they are missing out on time with you. Older family members may feel a loss of independence.

Helpful tips

• Plan ahead carefully before a parent moves in.
• Think about how you will cope financially and emotionally.
• Involve the whole family in decisions, including children if they are old enough.
• Ask other family members if they can help.
• Work out who else could help – friends, neighbours or support services.
• Calmly work through differences of opinion – consider everyone's opinion and feelings, including your own.
• Encourage grandparents to share their life stories – most children love a good story.
• Look after yourself and take opportunities to talk with other family members, friends or a counsellor about how you feel.