Being a grandparent

Grandparents and grandchildren often share a very special bond. 'Nana' or 'Koro' can be a trusted and loved friend. Grandparents can also lend much-appreciated support and advice to parents.

In some cultures grandparents can actively advise and raise the newest generation. And sometimes, they are the main caregiver for their grandchildren.

But it can be tricky for grandparents who are not living with their whānau to know how much help and advice they should offer, and when.

In these situations it can be useful to talk openly about your role within the whānau and what is wanted and expected from you.

Approached in the right way (such as asking "would it be helpful if I...") you can keep things low-key, and you'll find out what is really wanted.

Helpful tips

• Ask your adult children what support and advice they want — before giving it
• Ask about family/whānau boundaries so you know what your grandchildren can and cannot do when they're with you
• Offer your grandchildren advice and support if they want or need it; make sure you reinforce family/whānau boundaries
• Don't take sides
• Remember that grandchildren can sometimes use their grandparents to get what they want, against their parents wishes
• Most of all, have fun with your grandchildren.