Adoption

Adoption is the legal transfer of all parental rights and responsibilities from a child's birth parents to adoptive parents. By law, the child becomes 'as if born' to the adoptive parents and a new birth certificate is issued. The original birth certificate is closed (adopted people can apply to access this, to identity their birth parents).

Child, Youth and Family offer advice and services on adoption, both within New Zealand and from other countries. If you're needing help, please ask.

Your reasons for considering adopting a child may be because of problems with conception, or health, or perhaps you simply don't want to go through pregnancy again. Whatever your reasons, it's important that any sense of grief or loss has been worked through. There are many people who can help with this. Ultimately, what matters is becoming parents – not how you become parents.

Helpful tips

If you want to adopt a child, the assessments can be very stressful. There is very close scrutiny by experts in the field. Also, adoption is a 'waiting game' which may leave you feeling anxious, or unhappy, or feeling that you are following the 'second best' option.

However, there are real positives. Often, adoptive parents are older, more financially stable, better placed to accept one another's differences, and stay calm under stress. If having a child has been a long-term goal, there's likely to be a strong sense of fulfilment.

If you are considering adoption, you can attend a group information meeting, or an introductory interview with an adoption social worker. Call Adoption Services:

• In New Zealand: 0508 FAMILY (0508 326 459)
• From another country: ++64 9 912 3820.

Supporting your adopted child

• When they realise they were adopted, a child may well feel strong emotions, including the grief of 'losing' a biological family.
• Guiding them through any grief can help to avoid long-term emotional issues about being adopted.
• Talk openly with your child about their adoption, ideally from as soon as they are old enough to understand.
• If yours is not an open adoption (where children grow up knowing who their birth parents are) it is important to respect any curiosity they feel to find about their biological parents.
• Respect differences between your family and their biological parents. Help them to know themselves, both as your child and as a child of their original culture.