9 to 13 year olds

As your child grows into a teenager, there's a lot happening. At this stage – the 'tweenage' years - children become more self-aware and often want more independence. They may be moving on to an intermediate school. Later, there will be secondary school to consider.

Tweenies often question everything, including rules and routines. They often seem to find friends more important than family. But don't be deceived: you still matter! Keep talking and listening. Try to spend time together. Above all, just hang in there.

Helpful tips

• Listen to, and keep talking with, your child about what's going on in their lives. They may find it hard to express feelings so just knowing you're listening can be enough.
• Make time. Eat together once or more a day. Go on family outings – it could be sport, the beach or the movies. If possible, pick your child up from school at least one day a week.
• Involve your child in your leisure and fun activities – they'll be more likely to involve you in what they do.
• Get them to help with core family chores, such as the dishes or laundry. This builds responsibility and gives you a good opportunity to praise them.