Young White Ribbon Ambassador leads the way

Young people can be leaders to promote positive change for families, says White Ribbon Ambassador Johny O’Donnell during Youth Week (22 to 30 May).

Connecting young people and their whānau and families is the theme for Youth Week this year, which aims to create a society that values young people and affirms their diversity.

O’Donnell is a co-founder of SAVE in Nelson (Students Against Violence Everywhere), a youth action group formed to end violence in our communities. SAVE is supporting Youth Week.

“Family is such an important part of our lives but it is an environment that can be both nurturing and damaging for youth,” he says. “Having positive relationships with our parents is rewarding in so many ways, and yet too many teenagers experience just how destructive violence can be to family relationships.”

Research sourced by the Families Commission shows that when youth experience family violence within the home, not only are family relationships jeopardised, so is the possibility that the child will grow to have a healthy non-violent relationship with their own children.

Johny explains: “When I was 16 we started SAVE in Nelson when we saw the effects of violence within families in our community. We had friends who were victims so we decided to use our voices to help end violence. The White Ribbon campaign recognised the work we were doing and invited me to become a White Ribbon Ambassador, which was a real honour.

“White Ribbon asks men to be leaders and make change possible. That’s a sentiment I totally applaud. If we want our world to be a better place, we as the next generation, need to take responsibility. It’s no good expecting some super hero to save us, that only happens in the movies. If youth want change then we need to show leadership,” says Johny, “Not leave it to others.

“I want a world where there is no violence in the home. Where relationships are built on mutual respect, and where people my age can have great relationships with their parents, not ones built on fear.

“If you want to make a difference this Youth Week to ensure that our young people are connected to their whānau/families, make our homes violence free,” says Johny.

Key Messages:

• No violence within families is tolerable. If someone within the family is being frightened or intimidated by the behaviour of someone else, it is not OK. Violence isn’t just the physical, it’s also emotional or verbal behaviour used to control someone through fear. Things we say, or don’t say, contribute to the abuse.
• White Ribbon Day is the international day when people, particularly men, wear a white ribbon to show they won’t tolerate, condone or remain silent about violence against women.
• It originated as a men’s movement in Canada and is now part of the United Nations annual calendar (International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women). The Families Commission took a leadership role in New Zealand in 2006.
• Whether you are a father, brother, uncle, granddad or cousin – we all want to keep our families safe. We all want our children to grow up and have happy healthy relationships.
• By simply wearing a white ribbon you can make it clear to other men that you do not tolerate violence against women.
• You can also make sure your home, your business or your sports club is a safe environment where abusive behaviour is not tolerated.
• The White Ribbon Day campaign encourages men to talk openly about family violence, to support men who want to change their abusive behaviour and to challenge comments, statements and actions by men that are abusive.

Statistics in New Zealand

• In New Zealand most violence towards women takes place in the home.
• In violence between couples, it is men’s violence that is most likely to cause serious physical or psychological harm.
• An average of 14 women a year are killed by their partners or ex partners.
• There are over 3500 convictions recorded against men each year for assaults on women.
• One in three women will experience partner violence at some point in their lives.

The Families Commission and White Ribbon Committee works with multiple agencies and NGOs to coordinate the national campaign. The White Ribbon campaign complements but is separate to the family violence It’s Not OK campaign.